Status Update (Reality Check): A Very Candid Look at How Different Generations Are Using Facebook

Long gone are the days of Facebook being something that just tweens, teens, and twenty-somethings pour hours of spare time into. Yes, over the last five years, Facebook has evolved into an integral business tool, and a must-have means of communication for all generations. With over 500 million users, Facebook allows its loyal following to tell each of their contacts (sorry, “friends”) exactly what they are doing at any given time of the day…fantastic – right? Maybe. After taking a close look at a variety of Facebook timelines right here in our office (cultivated by generations of all sorts), we notice three things: 1) We know what Plain Jane, 27-years-old (whom we haven’t spoken to in about six months), is eating for breakfast, 2) John Doe, 55-years-old, has yet another wife – whose boob job looks a little lopsided, by the way… and 3) College Basketball Hotshot, 19-years-old, is asking us for more Candy Crush lives…again! Yes, where would we be without Facebook? Naturally, after making just these few observations (some snide, some true, some both…), our editors decided to compile a list of their favorites; which begged the question, “How are different generations using Facebook?”

People in their 20s...

- Like to post status updates (or song lyrics) that gently provoke emotions from an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. E.g. "I'm so much happier now than I was six months ago!" or, "To the left, to the left..."

- Accept random Tinder dates as “Friends”; we know, because said date just posted on your wall asking why they haven’t gotten a call back…

- For some reason find it appropriate to invite their friends to "like" their client’s Facebook page(s)

- Post photos with a new flame to make the old flame jealous (let’s be real; old flame is totally creeping on the ex's profile)

- Untag themselves in family photos

- Girls love to share photos of two things: their new manicure, and the flowers beside their computer. Fact: this photo looks exactly the same all 72 times that you post it, ladies!

People in their 30s...

- Love to bombard the timeline with new engagement, wedding, and/or baby photos.

- Talk endlessly about how happy they are not to be in their naive 20s anymore...

- Men, in particular, love to post photos of what transpired on their most recent trip to the barbecue. E.g. "Check out these burgers!" and "Grillin' like a villain..."

- Think it's super funny to tag their friends in photos they aren't even in. E.g. For some reason, Jimmy John is tagged in a random photo of The Simpson family... Caption: HA HA HA! Jimmy this is you!

- Still think that "duck face" is a cool way to take pictures; seriously, both men and women. If you're thirty something, reading this article, and recall a few "duck faces" made in your profile photos...for the record, it was never flattering.

People in their 40s...

- Will post a 5-paragraph essay for a status update; as if the world must know about every second of their day.

- Post old webcam-style selfies taken in what appears to be a home office (and not just one, but like fifty)!

- Love to share food photos, and post a fresh status update every time a new glass of wine is poured; we get it…you’re drinking!

- Like to talk about how "stupid" other people are.

- Don't like to admit that they use Facebook, but keep an account open to creep on the people that openly do use Facebook.

People in their 50s...

- Love to post photos of their kids (again, and again…and again).

- Tag their kids in said family photos...

- Like to treat their Facebook page as if it's an online dating profile.

- Feel the need to share their latest dating scare with all 400 of their friends.

- Post a hot shot selfie so that Facebook friends far and World Wide Web can reassure them that they are “Gorgeous!” “A fox!” “Red hot!”

- Share countless photos of the vacation homes, cars, boats, and other "tricked out" toys that they own.

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